The Journey

Yesterday a thought came inside me "why am i fighting when i know i have already lost" the answer came" because i have to". there are times when you want security and comfort, the touch of a soft hand that means its all right, the caress of a comforting voice that tells you that you are not alone.yesterday was one of those times. i feel like a wandering minstrel, roaming around endlessly in search of some illusory divinity that will tell me the meaning of living, and fighting. the search is on.

The Magic Pot

All good things come to an end and so has the journey i began with the start of process lab. today i gave up lonliness and self pity, feelings that have hankered me throughout life and taken from the magic pot my acceptance of myself as a human and the ability to touch myself and welcome myself every day. I have been disturbed by a lot of things in this process, the pain of separation that i saw in Moumita and the pain of loss that Shruti was with. I feel also the anger of Prabhat, the numbness of Sugandha. I received strength and sustenance from Balaji's empathy and Prachuri's softness. I hope i also have given to the group and the space, in my own small way, what i could. The most endearing moment of the process lab for me has been the wonderful, kind and honest gesture of Arti towards my pain and longingness. Thank you all you wonderful guys, for making the space alive with your yourness. I value it and hope you do the same...........
and the journey, as they say, has just started

The Space

Today is the third day of the Process Lab and sparks have started flying. I became aware today of "labels" given to me by people ranging from 'chauvanist' to 'connected', optimist, intellectual, supportive, rigid, egoist, image conscious, rebel, ignorant, demanding and arrogant. I feel somehow that after the afternoon session where the facilitators left the group, there has been the start of a trust building in the space. I still feel that some individuals are tentative about the whole process. One thing that became clear to myself was that i talk a lot about father because of the habit of mother in my childhood after father's death of sharing her problems with us. I am happy that i do not feel any discomfort in talking about things very sacred and personal to me within the space. I think i see the beginning of hope in this process lab this day in regard to trust building in the group.

The Process Lab

Today was the first day of the Process Lab, a sensitivity training lab based on the ISISD school of Philosophy started by Prof. Pulin Garg of IIM Ahmedabad.
The Lab started with an introductory session in the morning. Throughout the session i was feeling drowsy due to late night movie watching. This day's session seemed just to wither away till the end when i spoke about my fears of facing the dark when I was 7. It evoked a surprise in the group which was not immediately evident ( afterward when i talked to Dusi, he gave an inkling by saying with a mischevious grin, that i had evoked surprise among the audience on the issue). I felt a bit uncomfortable on speaking intimate details about my life but felt i had to, so be it. The issue in process lab is to confront the issues you talk about only to yourself, by sharing these issues in a space. I feel that the reluctance on the part of people to talk is not a healthy sign since somewhere i feel it hampers trust building so essential in a process lab.
Anyway lets see if sparks start flying in the second day.

Random Harvest

This blog is a harvest of all my random thoughts, feelings and actions. It is also an expression of my creativity. I would appericiate if people visiting this this blog post their comments on what they feel about it.
Both bouquets and brickbats are welcome at manmeet_imdr@yahoo.co.in